If we're lucky, physicians actually may have a chance to save a few lives in our careers; however, we mostly observe life and try desperately to avert death. This has become so apparent in the last 6 and 1/2 years taking care of J. She is a 7 year old half-pint of a little girl who won't die...I have never seen that kind of will to live. no matter that she has spent the better part of her 7 years in a hospital or that she shouldn't have to, but can recite all of her 9 medications....whenever you ask her "J, how are you?" Her reply is always "good" or "I'm fine." What is that spark in her that keeps her positive, never complaining and fighting back against all odds. She doesn't care that we don't know exactly what's wrong with her or that she has had 3 liver transplants; she doesn't care that she a huge team of doctors caring for her and consulting about her daily. She laughs heartily at the Curious George DVD I gave her (she quite spritely reminded me I had forgotten her birthday gift this year), writes in her notebook, wears her pink tiara to clinic and wants desperately to return to school.
I remember writing some cliche essay for an application about why I wanted to work with chidren in my profession....I spoke of children's joie de vivre and incredible resilience.....It's taken me these 13 years, with every child's life, to truly understand what the "joy of life" means.
I fervently hope as adults, as healers, we are more than witnesses to life...
