Goal: attend 10 year award ceremony for work at the 32nd floor floor dreamy restaurant
Objective: buy great outfit for award ceremony
Plan: go to store- black skirt & red silk blouse-credit card; voila -in & out - less than 1/2 hour
Somewhere between ellen and vera, I started hyperventilating despite the piano player's lovely rendition of this year's christmas musak.....apparently i have a gene deletion that precludes my enjoyment of this peculiar ritual women typically love-- let me break it down so that someone can clue me into the fun part--
1) look through racks and stacks of random clothes
2) respond to Molly or whoever, as she looks me up and down, frowns at my current clothing, and asks with disdain "may I start a room?"
3) follow Molly, Dolly, whoever into a small room, get naked and start changing clothes multiple times
4) Evaluate clothes in mirrors that accentuate every blemish, roll, and bulge in 360 degree glory
5) try to find Molly or Dolly to find another size--of course, there isn't one in ocean blue-but would I like it in the gray -green algae? Maybe my next lifetime
5.5) ask Molly Dolly if she could bring me a Long Island Iced Tea with the next set of trousers/slacks, pantset,--she didn't think it was funny
6) finally find one lovely blouse and check price tag--more than the condo association fees for the month
3 1/2 hours later, my hair is a mess, I think I got all my original clothes back on, I have a black slip for the price of several upscale cocktails and a massive headache.
Plan B: wear existing skirt with new slip (that cost more than the skirt), existing blouse, lots of lipstick, toss the hair and I'm off....feminity isn't defined by what's on the outside or the giftwrap, is it?---and who needs fair-weather friends like vera, ellen , and jones anyway!
