I went to the Apple store, in -person. No, really. I did.
I walked in with my iPad and was directed to the "Genius" bar. Seriously, what 15 year old came up with this name. "We are geniuses and can help you with your electronic device because you are obviously not a genius" I explained the issue with my iPad of only 2 years and he responds, "how sweet. You know the newer ones are a quarter the weight, right? I'm not even going to send you to the genius bar. Let me help you" and gave me a pitying little smile. As if that wasn't bad enough, I had taken in an old ipod music player to be recycled (less than 6 years old). The look on teen genius was too much. He laid a hand on my arm, tilted his head with a gentle smile, lowered his voice, and said, " aww, they don't even make these anymore. that is so sweet. Do you mind if I show the other staff?" - dumbfounded and sort of mortified, I was surrounded by teen geniuses who were peering over each others shoulders to get a glimpse of this ancient relic.
I feel like a dial up person in a high speed internet world.